thursday. dec.4 7:30 p.m

you know life just seems so funny. its like its all a game. in order to succeed, i got to play by everyone elses rules and in order to maintain i have to live by my rules.

being vulnerable is just me.

sometimes i get really pissed off and i just do not know what to do or where to go. i want to run but can seem to pick up my feet. i want to cry but cant seem to find a reason. i enjoy my sorrow. it haunts me if i do not give him his time. sorrow incapacitates me and he really fucks me. he fucks me hard. he fucks me like a pimp on steroids. he comes in and grabs me and tells me i am his and he is not letting me go passes out.

he enjoys my tears it gives him his relief. he tells me if i do not cry then i am not myself. he tells me that he wants to own me and control my world. his view is the only view to see.

he is always mean to me.
he makes me hurt myself.
i pile drive my head into a wall, hoping that it might just burst

...im confounded
...im serious

i kick the shelves as a way to run away from him and show that i am strong. however he laughs in my face and tells me i am weak, i cannot change my situation and i have no control.

i want to blame my dad.
my dad created me.
he introduced me to sorrow, therefore he is responsible too. who will punish him? who will correct his wrongs that have altered my life possibly forever. what if forever is soon ending. what if forever is soon never.

how come i have no control over my thoughts...can i control my actions..JOSH calls.

the conversation ends. he is a good guy. or is he.

i wish i knew where life began to meet the external forces that arrive in my life. everything is created for a purpose right? i hope so...then there must be a purpose for my existence and a purpose for the forces in my life. why r they so jealous of me. what power do i really have? am i a threat?

CONGRESS APOLOGIZES FOR SLAVERY

House formally apologizes for slavery and Jim Crow
Email this StoryJul 29, 7:05 PM (ET)By JIM ABRAMS


WASHINGTON (AP) - The House on Tuesday issued an unprecedented apology to black Americans for the wrongs committed against them and their ancestors who suffered under slavery and Jim Crow segregation laws.
"Today represents a milestone in our nation's efforts to remedy the ills of our past," said Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, D-Mich., chairwoman of the Congressional Black Caucus.
The resolution, passed by voice vote, was the work of Tennessee Democrat Steve Cohen, the only white lawmaker to represent a majority black district. Cohen faces a formidable black challenger in a primary face-off next week.
Congress has issued apologies before - to Japanese-Americans for their internment during World War II and to native Hawaiians for the overthrow of the Hawaiian kingdom in 1893. In 2005, the Senate apologized for failing to pass anti-lynching laws.
Five states have issued apologies for slavery, but past proposals in Congress have stalled, partly over concerns that an apology would lead to demands for reparations - payment for damages.
The Cohen resolution does not mention reparations. It does commit the House to rectifying "the lingering consequences of the misdeeds committed against African-Americans under slavery and Jim Crow."
It says that Africans forced into slavery "were brutalized, humiliated, dehumanized and subjected to the indignity of being stripped of their names and heritage" and that black Americans today continue to suffer from the consequences of slavery and Jim Crow laws that fostered discrimination and segregation.
The House "apologizes to African-Americans on behalf of the people of the United States, for the wrongs committed against them and their ancestors who suffered under slavery and Jim Crow."
"Slavery and Jim Crow are stains upon what is the greatest nation on the face of the earth," Cohen said. Part of forming a more perfect union, he said, "is such a resolution as we have before us today where we face up to our mistakes and apologize as anyone should apologize for things that were done in the past that were wrong."
Cohen became the first white to represent the 60 percent black district in Memphis in more than three decades when he captured a 2006 primary where a dozen black candidates split the vote. He has sought to reach out to his black constituents, and early in his term showed interest in joining the Congressional Black Caucus until learning that was against caucus rules.
Another of his first acts as a freshman congressman in early 2007 was to introduce the slavery apology resolution. His office said that the House resolution was brought to the floor only after learning that the Senate would be unable to join in a joint resolution.
More than a dozen of the 42 Congressional Black Caucus members in the House were original co-sponsors of the measure. The caucus has not endorsed either Cohen or his chief rival, attorney Nikki Tinker, in the Memphis primary, although Cohen is backed by several senior members, including Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers, D-Mich., and Ways and Means Committee Chairman Charles Rangel, D-N.Y. Tinker is the former campaign manager of Harold Ford, Jr., who held Cohen's seat until he stepped down in an unsuccessful run for the Senate in 2006.
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me

yo..

TODAY

6:30 a.m meeting with a drug addict
7:15: drove to gainesville along with X-ochtica and Sunny
12:15: excursion to PANAMA CITY to meet with VIBE magazine editor
4:30: Arrove BAck in TALLY FL
5:02 AT FAMU on the computer
and talking to my hubby..lol...hahah
5:19 p.m tripping at this LAME BITCH that used to be my friend

My Rule for the Day.

Be Bold...
If someone stares at you..stare at them back
If someone looks at you in a weird way then address that loser
Stop letting people define you
Start defining yourself, and give the world a show...




52185

Gay and HIDING IT

EVER WANTED TO KNOW if someone at your high school was gay?

WEll heres the place..i have teamed up with about 20 gay guys who happen to know any and everyone whose ever experimented at your school EAST GADSDEN....ahahahahahah...prepare for the worst.....got any questions leave a comment